5 Things I Learned From A Mentor

I was in my mid-20s when I joined AECOM in the summer of 1980 as a postdoc after graduating from a university in south India. Being in my prime youth, I was ready and willing to consume new ideas for personal growth; in other words, I was looking for true, informal mentors. My philosophy then (and now) was like in Maya Angelou’s famous poem: "Nobody, but nobody can make it out here alone."

  
At AECOM, my primary mentor and associate was Jag G., who was more than ten years my senior. Jag is a very simple man with certain idolizable qualities. Among the many things I learned from Jag, five stand distinctly (with descriptions mine): 

You win/gain some, you lose some: Don’t expect to win over every issue or gain in each event. Not every situation, event, or issue is favorable to you. As exciting and fulfilling a win or a gain would be, be prepared to lose. Feeling like a sore loser doesn’t do any good. Take defeat graciously and move on.

Always try to do 10% better: In life everything you do or every task you perform is like an experiment. As you try to improvise on each task, always try to do 10% better than the previous time. Keep improving till you perfect that task or until you are satisfied. The same applies when you see yourself competing with someone or deciding on adopting a tool for your benefit. I call this the 10% rule. 

You get what you deserve:  Perfect or not, the system or the environment you are in is what it is and it knows how to credit you. The system is not a single individual to have a grudge on you and to take revenge; it is sort of a majority opinion in a democracy. Accept the results as everyone is competing for limited resources. Quite often, you need to be satisfied with what you get.

You can't worry about things you don't control:   A great many things are not in your control. It is easy to get anxious to control those things and waste good time trying to do so; it can simply be like rinse and repeat cycles. Instead, concentrate on what you can do in that situation and better build on your choices.

Everyone is right to some extent: The world is full of people with diverse opinions and no one’s opinions are perfect. As information gets passed people form opinions but in the process information can be distorted and people form the wrong or incorrect opinions. More often that includes you too. Be aware of this fact and consider that everyone is right to some degree.

I left AECOM in 1997. Jag and I closed our laboratory and parted ways. I moved to IT and subsequently changed my career twice. I also cofounded a technology startup, In each and every step of my professional career as well as in my personal life these things I learned helped me overcome numerous disappointments, accept losses, stay humble, and work towards realigning myself to be useful to the situations and to the people around. As I quoted earlier: In life, it is not the destination that is important but the people we meet and the lessons we learn. It is very gratifying that I met a suitable mentor in my youth and these lessons I learned became part of my life’s playbook. 

Many thanks to all my mentors. 

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