3 Amigos - John’s Version

[Third of three write ups from three who have been friends for almost two-thirds of their life.] 

Our story began on a cool November day in the mid-seventies. A one-day trip for me on a family errand to the small university town of Warangal turned out to be a five year stay and a life-long friendship. Our friendship has spanned over four decades and two continents, a friendship that has stood the test of time, distance and Facebook status changes. This was a real-life friendship that could have scripted and inspired Bollywood movies like “Amar, Akbar, Anthony” or “Three Idiots”.

I met Najam a few years before that cool November day. But it was a mere acquaintance between two students both pursuing graduate studies in the same subject in our home town of Hyderabad. The real friendship with Najam started when I made an unplanned visit to the new university in Warangal. There was an opening on the teaching faculty of the new university and Najam who was already on the faculty persuaded me to join the faculty. That was the start of a life-long friendship.

While the acquaintance and subsequent friendship with Najam could be explained by our graduating in the same discipline in the same city, the meeting with Aravind was truly serendipitous. Aravind was in a completely different discipline, and from a small town. The odds of our meeting were very low. But maybe it was destiny which arranged for us to meet through common friends and develop a strong friendship. Aravind’s parents, who had never left him alone before, somehow felt comfortable leaving him in a new town with two strangers. They perhaps felt confident that these two strangers, a Muslim and a Christian would take good care of their Brahmin son.

Thus, began a close friendship between three young professionals in a small university town in South India. Given that it was a small university town, there were few diversions, except the occasional movie. Most of our colleagues were older with families and had little time for us, young upstarts. So, outside of work, we spent a lot of time in each other’s company, laughing, joking, pulling each other's legs, but always looking out for each other. We shared an apartment and relished Najam’s cooking. We enjoyed Najam’s colorful Urdu sayings, sharp wit and retorts. He had a colorful Urdu saying for every occasion, including when he haggled with the street vendor over the price of eggs!!

Life was comfortable. But it was Najam who inspired and challenged us to look outside our little pond, beyond the comforts and complacency in a small university town to the big ocean outside, and beyond the oceans to the opportunities in the US. It was a manifestation of Najam’s large heart and selflessness that he sought a better life not just for himself but for his two buddies. That is how the “Three Idiots” from a small town in India ended up as the “Three Musketeers” in the Land of Liberty.

We landed in the US and initially settled, one in the Big Apple, one in the Land of Lincoln and the third in the Golden State. But for the small-town buddies, the vast distances of America never mattered. It was as though we were still sharing an apartment in a small town. I well remember when I landed in New York on Friday the 13th of August, Aravind received me, took me sightseeing in New York, and indulged me by buying me new jeans and other American clothes.

My next stop was Dekalb Illinois where Najam was pursuing his doctoral studies. I then ventured out to the wild west, knowing that I had Aravind in NY and Najam in Chicago to cover my back. It was not an easy ride for us. We struggled, worked hard but succeeded, trusting in God and the two friends that God had placed for each of us as His guardian angels.

Life went on. We rejoiced when Aravind went home and married Jaya in January 1983. We had a grand reunion in summer 1984 in Urbana when Najam married Saras. While there were many other friends at the reunion, the special bond between the three of us was obvious.

We finished our studies and started our careers. While we were successful, we never forgot our humble roots or our dear buddies. Our friendship flourished despite the distance and despite the change in our Facebook status from care-free bachelors to semi-respectably married family men. We never hang out much or spend hours on the phone, but when we meet, even after years, it is like we never parted. We always knew our buddies were there for us, when we needed and when it mattered. We had each other’s shoulders to cry on when our parents left for their heavenly abode.

Our friendship blossomed into the next generation. Soon after Asha and I got married, we visited Urbana in the winter of 1986 and celebrated the first birthday of Najam & Saras’s baby daughter, Asma. When we moved to the East Coast in 1989, Aravind’s family met Asha and our daughter Naomi for the first time. Najam visited us in NJ in the early 1990s and met Naomi and Aravind’s second son Sudheer for the first time. Aravind and family celebrated with us the first birthday of our son Sam and the wedding of our daughter Naomi. The circle of life moves on, by God’s Grace.

We had the next grand reunion in 2018 when Aravind’s son’s Sandeep married Mary in Milwaukee, a small town like Warangal. Aravind and I met, for the first time, Najam’s son, Nishant. We hit it off right away and shared with Nishant how extraordinary his Dad was (we lied), and confided with him all of his Dad’s colorful Urdu quotes. Najam pleaded with us to sterilize and not share the more colorful sayings.

They say, a person is lucky to have special friendships at each stage of life. But the really blessed ones have the same special friends at each stage of life. I can say I am blessed to have my two amigos from Warangal at several stages of my life. I thank God for this blessing.

From left: Najam, Saraswathi, Jaya, Aravind, and John (photo courtesy of Kumar Paka)
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Comments

  1. Javeed78August 21, 2020 at 12:18 PM

    Great story.... may the friendship continue and pass on to the younger generation

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aravind AkellaAugust 22, 2020 at 11:08 AM

    Hi John, Very touching, especially comparison with AAA and 3 Is. Some people have mentioned those similarities to me as well (e.g., see my nephew's comments in my version). But, I guess there is some difference. In Bollywood scripts, protagonists do not exist without a villain. In our story, luckily, the villain, I certainly believe, is only going to appear in far future.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NajamAugust 24, 2020 at 11:07 AM

      Arvind, I agree very touching and also emotional to recall pleasant memories. Indeed we all have enriched ourselves from this friendship and I am blessed to have your friendships. We hope to pass this on to our children :)

      Delete

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